Flandubnut Sidlarplit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, calm gerbil.

Flandubnut Sidlarplit created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flandubnut Sidlarplit, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flandubnut Sidlarplit, he will turn you into a snail.

Flandubnut Sidlarplit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Flandubnut Sidlarplit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flandubnut Sidlarplit's name in vain.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flandubnut Sidlarplit.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flandubnut Sidlarplit on top of all buildings.