Tarpgidlak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish goose.

Tarpgidlak created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgidlak, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tarpgidlak, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Tarpgidlak's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tarpgidlak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Never look in ponds.