Lopstaflip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless whale.

Lopstaflip created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopstaflip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lopstaflip, he will remove you from existence.

Lopstaflip's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Lopstaflip's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lopstaflip's priests.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Do not shave your chest.