Pangfomgan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful crab.

Pangfomgan created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangfomgan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pangfomgan, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pangfomgan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Pangfomgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six pigs in a large pit.

2. Worship no other gods but Pangfomgan.

3. Do not kill dogs.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.