Barnwitdungutpad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring whale.

Barnwitdungutpad created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnwitdungutpad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Barnwitdungutpad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Barnwitdungutpad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Barnwitdungutpad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must pray to Barnwitdungutpad four times a day.