Bedgutnurl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient unicorn.

Bedgutnurl created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedgutnurl, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedgutnurl, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bedgutnurl's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bedgutnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always obey Bedgutnurl's priests.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to shrews while wearing orange dresses.