Bissgudwan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate rhinoceros.

Bissgudwan created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissgudwan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bissgudwan, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bissgudwan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bissgudwan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Bissgudwan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Bissgudwan loves great tits, so they must be respected.