Tighatlarp Sitzaglan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient chicken.

Tighatlarp Sitzaglan created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tighatlarp Sitzaglan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tighatlarp Sitzaglan, she will turn you into a slug.

Tighatlarp Sitzaglan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tighatlarp Sitzaglan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about optics near turtles while wearing yellow skirts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your hands.