Tifmisspag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, smart camel.

Tifmisspag created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifmisspag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tifmisspag, he will send you a sign.

Tifmisspag's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tifmisspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Hide if eight sharks approach from the west.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never play with disobedient children.