Fenmilcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, competent mongoose.

Fenmilcan created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Fenmilcan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fenmilcan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fenmilcan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fenmilcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never paint your face indigo.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. You must pray to Fenmilcan eight times a day.

5. Never wear corsets.