Kinlimtin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty dolphin.

Kinlimtin created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinlimtin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinlimtin, she will think nothing of it.

Kinlimtin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Kinlimtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention birds.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to moths while wearing blue kilts.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Worship no other gods but Kinlimtin.