Cetbettail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, awesome newt.

Cetbettail created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbettail, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cetbettail, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cetbettail's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cetbettail's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.