Talvenbig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unselfish hedgehog.

Talvenbig created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Talvenbig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Talvenbig, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Talvenbig's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Talvenbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Retreat if nine otters approach from the south.