Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, resourceful cow.

Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not take Gabbogbass Lakfigmismon Cutrotloop's name in vain.

5. Never think about planets.