Gemtimsakingsombopdob is a god.

She takes the form of a small, egotistical tortoise.

Gemtimsakingsombopdob created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtimsakingsombopdob, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gemtimsakingsombopdob, she will turn you into a slug.

Gemtimsakingsombopdob's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gemtimsakingsombopdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Hide if eight great tits approach from the west.

3. Never sit near hamsters.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Hide from fawn tapirs for they are unholy.