Nurldamzim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable mole.

Nurldamzim created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurldamzim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurldamzim, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nurldamzim's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nurldamzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the west.

4. Nurldamzim loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not make images of living things.