Haphivgesspod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, moody lion.

Haphivgesspod created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Haphivgesspod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Haphivgesspod, she will turn you into a worm.

Haphivgesspod's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Haphivgesspod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about planets.