Nurlvindub is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, merciless dryad.

Nurlvindub created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlvindub, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurlvindub, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nurlvindub's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nurlvindub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never talk about gravity near geese while wearing gray shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your back.

4. Put Nurlvindub first in all things.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to sheep while wearing magenta kilts.