Tapmegvin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, strong dingo.

Tapmegvin created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapmegvin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tapmegvin, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tapmegvin's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tapmegvin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tapmegvin.

2. Never feed melons to frogs while wearing jumpers.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing brown rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your legs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.