Flowjabstip Didfarnpak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic grasshopper.

Flowjabstip Didfarnpak created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Flowjabstip Didfarnpak, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flowjabstip Didfarnpak, he will turn you into a mole.

Flowjabstip Didfarnpak's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flowjabstip Didfarnpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Always treat snails with great respect.

5. Always wear white.