Cadsafloop is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, selfish hamster.

Cadsafloop created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadsafloop, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cadsafloop, it will turn you into a plant.

Cadsafloop's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Cadsafloop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Cadsafloop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.