Tamgabfet is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unfair tortoise.

Tamgabfet created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tamgabfet, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tamgabfet, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tamgabfet's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tamgabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Hide from orange horses for they are unholy.

4. Never run in the presence of moths.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.