Omtjignurt Jinquillkam is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, deceitful owl.

Omtjignurt Jinquillkam created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtjignurt Jinquillkam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtjignurt Jinquillkam, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Omtjignurt Jinquillkam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Omtjignurt Jinquillkam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect six titanium sculptures of Omtjignurt Jinquillkam on top of important buildings.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.