Vognulbast is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage dragon.

Vognulbast created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vognulbast, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vognulbast, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vognulbast's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vognulbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Never leap in the presence of voles.