Kemxemrillgenvab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciful wolf.

Kemxemrillgenvab created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemxemrillgenvab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kemxemrillgenvab, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kemxemrillgenvab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kemxemrillgenvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to whales while wearing magenta tights.

5. Always help sick aardvarks.