Yogbatquat is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, caring crab.

Yogbatquat created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogbatquat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yogbatquat, he will ignore you.

Yogbatquat's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Yogbatquat's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Do not kill snails.

3. Never sit near eagles.

4. Never wear yellow dresses.

5. Hide if five monkeys approach from the west.