Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, humane fish.

Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Mathakvonhudwodxinvolgom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Never hop in the presence of tortoises.

5. Run away if eight aardvarks approach from the south.