Dobvigtof is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, able dolphin.

Dobvigtof created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Dobvigtof, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dobvigtof, it will turn you into a tree.

Dobvigtof's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dobvigtof's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dobvigtof.

5. Do not drink alcohol.