Vogortjat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving ant.

Vogortjat created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogortjat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vogortjat, it will destroy your home solar system.

Vogortjat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Vogortjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to birds while wearing white boots.

3. Run away if eight mites approach from the west.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about special relativity near tortoises while wearing mauve rings and balancing six platinum spheres on your face.