Hakvollegnaryikcin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fast skunk.

Hakvollegnaryikcin created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hakvollegnaryikcin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hakvollegnaryikcin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hakvollegnaryikcin's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hakvollegnaryikcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.