Gabspagvedfar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous mongoose.

Gabspagvedfar created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabspagvedfar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gabspagvedfar, he will think nothing of it.

Gabspagvedfar's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gabspagvedfar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.