Gofhivjop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless dragon.

Gofhivjop created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofhivjop, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gofhivjop, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gofhivjop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gofhivjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Always treat manatees with great respect.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never mention nematodes.