Mapyarlven Kening is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless skunk.

Mapyarlven Kening created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapyarlven Kening, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mapyarlven Kening, he will be mildly annoyed.

Mapyarlven Kening's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mapyarlven Kening's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to dolphins while wearing turquoise trousers.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mapyarlven Kening.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never feed oranges to gulls while wearing green corsets.