Parkpitcem Weebarnwod is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, almighty duck.

Parkpitcem Weebarnwod created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkpitcem Weebarnwod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Parkpitcem Weebarnwod, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Parkpitcem Weebarnwod's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Parkpitcem Weebarnwod's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Never feed grapes to turtles while wearing gray scarves.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Parkpitcem Weebarnwod must be the most important thing in your life.