Xinlarppid is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty grasshopper.

Xinlarppid created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinlarppid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xinlarppid, she will turn you into a snail.

Xinlarppid's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xinlarppid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Xinlarppid loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

4. Do not take Xinlarppid's name in vain.

5. Do not hurt goats.