Bumfubdam Lanbifflap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, boastful elephant.

Bumfubdam Lanbifflap created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumfubdam Lanbifflap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bumfubdam Lanbifflap, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bumfubdam Lanbifflap's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bumfubdam Lanbifflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if six frogs approach from the east.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Do not dye your hair black.