Arptarprill is a god.

He takes the form of a small, grumpy dingo.

Arptarprill created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arptarprill, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arptarprill, he will remove you from existence.

Arptarprill's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Arptarprill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Arptarprill loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arptarprill.