Nabgunnig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humorless parrot.

Nabgunnig created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Nabgunnig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nabgunnig, he will turn you into a slug.

Nabgunnig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nabgunnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing fawn shoes and balancing six iron spheres on your neck.

2. Erect nine copper sculptures of Nabgunnig on top of important buildings.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Never talk about optics near cats while wearing brown hats.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.