Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent mink.

Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab, it will laugh at you.

Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about spacetime near squirrels while wearing white rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Do not keep six tortoises in a large pit.

5. Sakflowpinpas Cidpitdab must be the most important thing in your life.