Tenyatthiv is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unthinking deer.

Tenyatthiv created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenyatthiv, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tenyatthiv, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tenyatthiv's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tenyatthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to hamsters while wearing black corsets.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Tenyatthiv in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about stars.

5. You must never eat parsnips.