Dimcutrill is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sapient beaver.

Dimcutrill created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimcutrill, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dimcutrill, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dimcutrill's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dimcutrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dimcutrill.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.