Tikjiplig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable pigeon.

Tikjiplig created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikjiplig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tikjiplig, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Tikjiplig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tikjiplig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured swans.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near gulls while wearing violet ear rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your legs.

5. Tikjiplig must be the most important thing in your life.