Nulkanfly Armvonkmat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient bear.

Nulkanfly Armvonkmat created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nulkanfly Armvonkmat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nulkanfly Armvonkmat, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nulkanfly Armvonkmat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Nulkanfly Armvonkmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. You must pray to Nulkanfly Armvonkmat seven times a day.

3. Nulkanfly Armvonkmat loves whales, so they must be respected.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.