Quatbonquill is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, slow hippopotamus.

Quatbonquill created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbonquill, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quatbonquill, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quatbonquill's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quatbonquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quatbonquill.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think ill of sick snakes.

5. Never look at planets.