Bessrutquag is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unthinking snail.

Bessrutquag created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessrutquag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bessrutquag, he will turn you into a duck.

Bessrutquag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bessrutquag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bessrutquag.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.