Haplinquilljin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing crane.

Haplinquilljin created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haplinquilljin, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haplinquilljin, she will turn you into a mouse.

Haplinquilljin's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Haplinquilljin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Never eat onions.

4. Never chant near voles.

5. Do not kill rats.