Hapnellbaf Queeg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable rhinoceros.

Hapnellbaf Queeg created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnellbaf Queeg, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapnellbaf Queeg, she will laugh at you.

Hapnellbaf Queeg's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Hapnellbaf Queeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hapnellbaf Queeg loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Always help sick badgers.