Garlitboss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unjust clam.

Garlitboss created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garlitboss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Garlitboss, it will send minions to preach to you.

Garlitboss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Garlitboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Garlitboss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never run in the presence of whales.