Xenjinleg is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate raccoon.

Xenjinleg created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenjinleg, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xenjinleg, he will try to impress you with trees.

Xenjinleg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Xenjinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xenjinleg.

4. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing gray shorts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.