Tunsandbap Bastmutbug is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic hedgehog.

Tunsandbap Bastmutbug created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunsandbap Bastmutbug, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tunsandbap Bastmutbug, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tunsandbap Bastmutbug's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tunsandbap Bastmutbug's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tunsandbap Bastmutbug nine times a day.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always obey Tunsandbap Bastmutbug's priests.

4. Never think about optics near capybaras while wearing fawn scarves and balancing five carbon spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near tortoises while wearing yellow hats.