Parkzogkim is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking crane.

Parkzogkim created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkzogkim, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Parkzogkim, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Parkzogkim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Parkzogkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to tortoises while wearing trousers.

2. Parkzogkim must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Parkzogkim loves mice, so they must be respected.

4. Never sprint in the presence of moths.

5. Never talk about fire.