Matbampop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, self-assured crane.

Matbampop created Africa nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Matbampop, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Matbampop, he will destroy your home solar system.

Matbampop's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Matbampop's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matbampop.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near otters while wearing black dresses and balancing nine titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Always help horses.

5. Erect three lead sculptures of Matbampop on top of important buildings.