Getlidfon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic aardvark.

Getlidfon created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Getlidfon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Getlidfon, it will turn you into a dog.

Getlidfon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Getlidfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. You must love Getlidfon.

3. Erect five silver sculptures of Getlidfon on top of important buildings.

4. You must pray to Getlidfon nine times a day.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.