Cenquimcab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, self-confident walrus.

Cenquimcab created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenquimcab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cenquimcab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cenquimcab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cenquimcab's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Worship no other gods but Cenquimcab.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Do not covet oxen.