Witgofwat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful crane.

Witgofwat created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witgofwat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witgofwat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Witgofwat's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Witgofwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. You must love Witgofwat.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always obey Witgofwat's priests.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.